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So, this is probably VERY different to anything I've ever cooked in the past. The only reason I chose it is because I was cooking for my family, and they're all fussy as fuck, and this was the only thing they could all agree on. It's a dish made using both rice and noodles, two things I usually cannot STAND, because they just seem like fatty lumps of tastelessness designed solely to provide cheap sustenance with no real nutritional value or taste.
However, I'm willing to give anything a shot. Here are the ingredients you'll need for this bizarre carbohydrate-packed meal:
You're looking at around 500g of chicken breast, and that white bowl is actually filled with crushed up cornflakes (yeah I know, what the fuck Bobby, right?).
The first step I took was to get out my casserole dish, and smear the entire inside of it with full-fat butter. Once that's done, you can start cooking your various ingredients one-by-one.
First up is the chicken. Arrange all 500g worth on a baking tray, and stick it a pre-heated oven at around gas mark 5. It should take around 20-25 minutes to cook through.
While that's going, slice up your red onion into rings, or you can take it further and dice them, but due to the severe weeping involved with chopping onions, I try to take as little time with them as possible. Fire up your frying pan, and fry the shit out of the onions til they're nice and oily/burnt, then remove them and leave them aside for now.
Boil up a pot of water, and dump in your entire bag of rice. If you're like me, you'll probably only use around half of it, but what the fuck, it costs nothing, just use it all. Once your rice has been boiling for around 10 minutes, quickly remove and strain it, and put that aside too.
Refill your pot with water, re-boil, then dump in your noodles for about 4 minutes. Once the onion, rice and noodles are taken care of, your chicken should be about good to go.
Remove the chicken breasts from the oven, and leave them to cool for a minute or two. Here comes the fun part: tearing apart the flesh of an animal with your bare hands!
Grab the chicken and start ripping it up frantically, so that no strip is the same size. Tear at it like you're filled with murderous rage, like it's the face of everyone who's ever wronged you. Who says cooking isn't therapeutic?
Once your chicken lies in a ravaged heap, flesh clinging to your hands, bring over your casserole dish, and start to add in everything you've prepared so far.
Add it all in stages, so you're getting a good ratio of rice:noodle:chicken:onion. As you do this, splash in some cream of mushroom soup, this might seem fucking weird and gross, but it's pretty necessary to ensure that this doesn't just become a dry, tasteless mess. Once it's all in the casserole, give it a good mix around, preferably using your hands. Close your eyes and feel all those disgusting textures swirl between your fingers. Yeah, I'm a fucking creepy weirdo, what's the problem?
Sprinkle your cornflakes, and any sort of condiments you desire on top of this whole mess. I went for soy sauce, to follow the recipe as close as possible, but maybe go for something with a bit more flavour?
Pop the lid on your dish, and stick this in the oven at (my favourite!) gas mark 5. Give it maybe.... 40 minutes, 50 at a push. Remove the lid 15 minutes before the end so the top layer crisps up nicely, gives it a bit of BITE!
I made enough to serve 4 people if they're REALLY hungry, but this could easily stretch to serve 6 when combined with a starter. I wasn't expecting it to be as tastey as it turned out, I think the mushroom soup and chicken strips helped to liven up the boring-ass rice/noodles combo. I probably wouldn't make this again though, it took me waaaay too long, for very little taste payoff.
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