English Dogs

This was a pretty spur of the moment decision, fuelled by absolute starvation and a desire to eat my weight in pork.

I don't know where the hot dog originally hails from, and to be honest I'm too lazy to look into it. The use of frankfurters makes me think Germany, but hot dogs are seen as a typically American, specifically NYC thing, right? Wherever they come from, the ones I made were very English. You'll see why in the ingredients photo:

Since I was buying all my ingredients in a standard supermarket and not some specialist infinite spice and condiment market (if one exists in Scotland, or anywhere, let me know, I'm movin' in!), I had to settle for pretty standard choices in the condiment department: Colman's English mustard and English tomato sauce.

The actual process of making hotdogs is so damn easy, even my retarded ass can do it! Or not, as you'll see from the finished result photo. I bought pre-made baguette dough, as I couldn't find any buns big enough to accomodate my meat. Stop laughing, perverts.

Stick those baguettes in the oven for around 12 minutes, turning them occaisionally so they heat through and turn golden brown evenly. While you do this, you can prepare whatever additional toppings you want.

I WAS going to go for the standard tomato ketchup, mustard and fried onion, but being my usual forgetful self, somehow I completely failed to fry, or even chop, my onion. So all I had to do was stick my sausages in the microwave.

I'm usually VERY anti-microwave, I hate ready-meals for the most part, and nothing ever tastes quite... right, when cooked by just waves of radiation, as opposed to good ol' FIRE! However, sometimes it's unavoidable. Anyway, the brand of sausages I got said they only required a minute, but that didn't sound right to my neanderthal brain, so I stuck 'em in for 2, just before my baguettes had finished browning.

Remove your baguettes from the oven, and your meat from the radiation chamber. Tear open your bread, completely scalding your already ruined hands in the process, and try and somehow fit those bizarre curved radioactive pork monstrosities within them. As you can see... it's easier said than done:

For fucks sake, those look awful, right? Although, I can actually say that hotDAMN, they were pretty damn good! The one with the burnt baguette, broken dog, and condiment massacre on top was mine, my sister pretty much stole the one in the foreground that actually turned out pretty well.

Anyhow, enough of my shit, this is a quick-as-fuck snack that's cheap as hell and takes all of 15 minutes to prepare, and who doesn't like hot dogs, right?