Prawn-creation Of The Wicked

This was kind of a last minute idea because I really couldn't be fuckin bothered making some big elaborate meal with tonnes of prep time and that took an age to cook. And when that happens, pasta is your friend!

This was originally a meal made when I was in desperate need of a shopping trip, and the ingredients used were pretty much all there was to eat in the house at the time, which kind of explains why they seem so... disparate.

Yeah, prawns in pasta, I don't know if thats a common thing, but it's certainly not something I'd ever eaten before. Surprisingly, it really worked out, hence the reason I'm making it again, fuckin duh.

This takes all of 15 minutes to prepare and cook, so the first thing ya gotta do is fill a pot with water, and heat that to a boil.
There's fuck all to do prep-wise except grate your cheese (I used my beloved Mexicana, but I guess normal cheddar will do too. If you're a loser, that is), and chop your chillies. Honestly, I only chopped one, left the seeds in, and even that was too much. I know, I'm a fucking wimp.

For your sauce, all there is to it is to whip up a basic white sauce as your base. If you don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, all ya do is pre-heat a pot, tip in a tbsp of plain flour, a decent shake of grated parmesan, a small-ish chunk of butter, and half a pint of milk, and whisk until it develops a nice thickened consistency. For a bit of a kick, I usually throw in a tsp of mustard powder and a pinch of cayenne pepper.

When your basic sauce is simmering away nicely, throw your bundles of tagliatelle into your boiling water. Keep an eye on both of these pots, and once you pasta is almost done, chuck your cheese into the saucepot, stir through, then add your prawns.
I cheated and used pre-prepared prawns because the aim of this meal was to encourage my own laziness, but if ya have time to pick up some prawns that still have claws and beady little eyes, and prepare those yourself, I suggest ya do it. There's very little in life thats more fun than busting apart shellfish to get to the meat within. The sound of the shells cracking open is... so goddamn satisfying.

Anyway, once everything is pretty much good to go, all you need to do is drain your pasta and transfer it into your saucepot. Give it a minute or two in there, stirring the sauce through, adding any last minute seasoning you deem necessary, then spatter it out onto your plate. Add your far-too-spicey chillies on top, and don't touch your nose after picking them up, like this stupid cunt did.
Serve with side salad if you fancy eating something that isn't yellow for once.